Couples Therapy

Throughout my fourteen years as a therapist, nearly half of my clients have been couples. (This is unusual among therapists!) I have accumulated thousands of hours working with all kinds of couples, working on a diverse range of challenges. The following are the top issues that I feel most comfortable working with:

• Parenting tension (often one partner emphasizes warmth, the other emphasizes limit-setting)

• Everyday communication challenges around chores, finances, and equity that go nowhere and lead to resentment

• Emotional distance ("drifted apart")

• Codependency dynamics

• Interracial and cross-cultural family dynamics

• Conflict management (fights that go dormant but are never really worked through)

• Sexual "ruts"

• Recovery from betrayals (e.g. sexual, emotional, and financial infidelities)

My goal with all couples is to help them establish the fundamental tools to solve their own problems. Through therapy, couples gain an understanding of their core patterns; this, along with improved communication, emotional attunement, and emotion regulation skills, allows couples to navigate ever-evolving roles, expectations, needs, and boundaries.

A few important notes

• When working with couples, I am generally unable to bill insurance; insurance typically only covers therapy when the focus of treatment is a mental health condition, and when treatment is considered medically necessary. Typically, the focus of couples therapy is on topics like communication, intimacy, sex, parenting, etc.,  which is usually not covered by health insurance. I charge $200/hr, with a sliding scale offered.

• There are a few instances when couples therapy is contraindicated, meaning that it is not likely to be helpful and could in fact be harmful. My initial assessment will screen for the presence of the following, and appropriate referrals will be provided if necessary. Examples include:

1. Unmanaged addiction by one or both partners

2. Ongoing infidelity

3. Intimate partner violence

4. Lack of a shared goal, such as when one partner wants to leave the relationship

5. Untreated mental illness or trauma by one or both partners